Part 30 – Neurons Like Brandy - Chapter 11: Dan

Neurons Like Brandy is a long running project of mine that I have been trying to finish for about 8 years. It focuses on a house in Brighton after the zombie apocalypse has passed, with flashbacks told by one of the remaining survivors every other chapter.

The chapter numbering is a little confusing so if this is your first time here and you are interested in reading more then I would recommend starting at the index where each of the chapters are ordered in the manner that they are meant to be read.
This chapter focuses on Dan's recounting of the beginning.

"Lets go out tonight.” Nufonia declared.

"Are you sure?” I replied.

"Yeah, Jo is coming and it would be fun for you to come out. In fact, what is Isaac up to?”
"He has work tomorrow, he really needs to stop being late so I think it is best that he doesn't come along.”
"But you want to right?”
"Sure, where are we going?”

“Just a pub, but it does really tasty non-alcoholic mojitos.” She said reassuringly.

“What's a mojito?”

“It is delicious, and it has mint in it that will help your stinky breath.”

“It isn't that bad."

“Hmm.” She hummed, not sounding convinced.

We sat in this pub with an octupus made out of plastic hub caps. Jo was there, already absolutely hammered. She was mucking around with this guy she had just met who had a crazy tattoo on his neck. I was drinking this mojito like it might save me. Meanwhile, Nufonia was necking these Tuscan Mules like there was no tomorrow.

We eventually shifted from the pub and headed to the local metal club. At that point this guy who called himself 'the pope' had joined us and there was this girl in a bondage skirt who insisted on being called 'Dracula'. It is so weird being the guy who doesn't drink, after years of being the person who can barely remember what happens after the fourth beer to be at these moments watching everyone around you stumble and slur and being full focused but without much to say.

We got to the club and it was exactly how it was it always was, loud and full of metal. It wasn't really my scene but Nufonia and Jo always had fun and that was what really mattered. Nu would get out on the dance floor when some angry woman was singing and stomp her feet and shake her head. It was utterly comical but it made me love her more.

A little later Nufonia came up and hugged me, she was drenched in sweat and smeared it all over me.

“Gross.” I laughed.

“I am fucking Wonder woman!” She shouted as she pulled away from me.

“What does that even mean?” I asked her.

“What?”

“You just said you were Wonder Woman.”

She frowned.

“Did I?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck, I must be wasted.”

She went back to dancing and I went back to drinking Seven Up and chatting to the guy that Jo had brought along, called himself Orfax. Man had fully dialated pupils and couldn't focus on any part of the conversation. Mid-sentence he just frowned at me, said something I couldn't make out over the noise of a Nirvana track, then left.

Not really knowing what to do next, and being unable to see Nu or Jo, I went off to get another drink.

On a whim I felt like getting a virgin mary and stood there for what felt like an age while the bartenders focused on the pretty teens in the tight corsettes. All the while there was a guy next to me, after the first five minutes of living in this bubble we exchanged looks as if to say 'Go figure'.

Eventually one of the bartenders noticed us but came to me first instead of him. I raised my hands and then pointed to him. He turned again and nodded his thanks. In turn I shrugged.

After he had been served he leaned in and shouted:

“Thanks man. I have been waiting for ages.”

Before I could say anything he had placed a mixed shot next to me and gave me the thumbs up.

I looked at it and felt like I should just leave it but at the same time he was still staring at me and I felt that it would have been rude. I started to believe that, given that he had been over 2 years since I'd had a drink, it couldn't be hard.

I knocked it back and, my god, it was the best thing I have ever tasted.

I don't know if all junkies feel the same way but the moment that the shot hit the back of my throat, it was like magic. The initial cold splash across my mouth followed by a sweetness of the mixer and then sharp acidity of the alcohol, after that teh slight burning down my throat. After so long without a taste I recognised home.

After my second drink I saw Nufonia again, and she saw me. She was drunk but she saw what I was doing and saw me order a pint. She frowned and asked if I was sure. I grinned and told her everything was fine. She replied by saying that we had talked about it but she wasn't sure how I would react and maybe this wasn't a good time to start.

I told her I was fine, better than fine.

By my third pint I recognised that my speech was starting to get harder to process and that my balance was off. I ended up dancing, I hate dancing, but at the same time I felt so good. The three of us bounced around to indie music, I drank a couple more and it started to feel like I was out side of my own body.

After that we walked to the beach and I started to sober up a little. This was the bad part of drunk, the part where all the energy I'd had started to falter and where I was still drunk but instead of happy I was grumpy, my body was telling me it wanted more.

We sat on the rocks for a bit and shared a bottle of beer that Nufonia had smuggled out, both of them were more wasted than I was. Jo started shouting how horny she was and that if we weren't a couple she would do us both. She kept reassuring us that she wouldn't because she loved us dearly and that we were her favourite couple. She kept saying she was going to drive home but we talked her out of it, instead we all stumbled back to our apartment.

Jo went to the toilet and then reappeared mumbled something and then crawled into our bed. Nufonia smirked at me said goodnight and went to sleep next to her.

I went through the cupboards looking for something else to drink. Nufonia didn't really keep anything in the house out of consideration for me.

There was some desert wine, used for cooking and I started necking it. I sat down on the sofa in our room and turned on the television.

The next thing that I can testify to is that I came to and I was sitting on my sofa, and the first thing I noticed was that my crotch was wet.

I assumed that I must have passed out, because I was slumped down on my seat. I adjusted myself so that I could see the screen. There was nothing but snow being broadcast on the fuzzy screen.

Then I heard a groan.

I was immediately worried, but not sure why. I groggily got to my feet. As I did so the empty dessert wine bottle rolled off my lap and onto the carpeted floor. At that point, I was hit by an intense wave of guilt at the sight of it. Drunk Dan passing out on the sofa, spilling drink on himself. I felt so deeply ashamed and stupid as I recalled rifling the shelves trying to find one last drink before bed.

I walked in the direction of the groan, which led me to the kitchen.

My pocket started to vibrate as my mobile began ringing. I found my girlfriend sitting on the linoleum floor, with one bloody hand clasped to her head.

I fished my phone out of my pocket and answered it with a hesitant hello.

It was one of our flat-mates, Jo, she was shouting down the receiver over a wall of noise happening at her end.

She asked if Nu and Isaac were all right, I said that Nu had smacked her head. I was having trouble dealing with everything, but managed to ask what was going on.

Jo replied that she hadn’t got a clue, but that it was something bad and that she was going to be over soon.

She cut off and I turned my attention back to my partner.

“What happened?” I asked.

She looked at me in a daze. I went to get the first aid box from underneath our bed. As I reached for the small package, I heard the static on the TV snap out. I gave the screen a cursory glance on my way back to Nufonia. There was a disheveled news presenter adjusting her clothes.

When I got back to the kitchen, Nufonia was still on the floor, clutching her head. Blood was sluggishly seeping through her fingers.

I heard the shuffling of our other flat-mate’s feet on the hallway carpet, on a path to our room and the television. I managed to pry Nu’s digits from the gash. It was deep and would need stitches. I couldn’t see myself doing anything about that at that point.

I got up and caught Isaac staring at me. His broad frame filling the doorway.

“What’s up?” He asked in his stoned drawl.

“Not sure,” I said. “Not sure anything is up.”

With that, he moved towards our room. I filled a bowl with hot water, despite this I could hear his footsteps and the familiar creak of our sofa as he sat down.

I tried to clean the wound, unsuccessfully, the blood kept coming.

Giving up on that idea, I decided to put some padding on Nufonia’s head and wrap some bandages around it to keep the pad in place.

“I fell.” She said.

“I know.”

“I don’t remember why.”

I looked at her; she seemed to be suffering from shock. Then I noticed something really odd; there was a large pool of congealing blood on the floor. Like it had been there for some time. I also noticed how much had flown down her face; her light blue shirt was now a dark brown on one side as if she had been lying in the puddle for a while.

“We need to get you to a hospital.” I said, I could feel myself starting to panic. Something was very wrong and my poor hungover mind was struggling to deal with it.

“Dude, you should check this out.” My flat-mate called from his spot.

“I’ve got to get Nufonia to the hospital.”

I helped her up, slinging one arm over my shoulder; I slid my left arm around her waist. I fought to get her to the front door as she started to go slack.

I looked into our room and caught the disheveled news person reporting death.

Trains crashing in stations, planes falling out of the sky onto densely populated areas. Dam bursts, Pileups, Power outs, explosions.

Nufonia came to briefly and kissed me on the cheek, she told me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep.

Isaac looked at me, and casually shrugged.

“Pretty fucked.”

I didn’t know if he meant the situation, his personal state, or both.

I managed to get my girlfriend out of the apartment and down the stairs. When we got to the ground floor I could smell burning. I saw smoke coming out from the bottom of the door belonging to the people on the right.

We didn’t get on with any of our neighbours, but I figured that it would be worth not having the whole block turned to cinders.

Afraid to put Nufonia down, I angled myself so that I could kick the door on my left.

After I’d booted the door a few times I got a response. It was the old lady who lived there; she spoke from behind the locked door:

“Who is it?”

“It’s Dan from the top floor.” I shouted. “There’s a fire opposite you. Call the firemen.”

“The lines are engaged.”

“Well do something!” I was stretching my vocal chords. “Try getting some of the other tenants or the whole fucking block will burn down!”

“There’s no need to use that tone with me young-

“Yes there is, now do something!”

The door opened and the woman appeared, wrinkles doubled over in a scowl.

The expression broke when she saw me holding onto Nufonia.

She hurried to open the main entrance for me. I ignored my aching biceps and looked over my shoulder to see the old lady go up the stairs to the first floor.

Then I took in what was happening in the square outside our house and felt my jaw drop.

Several of the houses were on fire, flames licking through windows, tailed by plumes of black smoke that billowed into the sky.

A couple of doors up, a car had driven into the front of a guest house. I could see the slumped figure of the driver still at the wheel.

Trying to take in all that I could see, I fought with my unconscious girlfriend’s dead weight to get her down the steps to my car that was parked at the curb.

Half way down the stone slabs, I saw a man in a fluorescent yellow jacket walk out from the underground car park that was in the middle of our square. He seemed to be in a daze that broke when he saw me.

Wandering over, with a smile on his face, he offered to take Nufonia from me. I could smell the familiar stench of Vodka sweat on him but given that I didn't have many options I relinquished her slumped body to him.

I hurried to my car and he followed close behind. The man waited patiently while I fumbled with my keys then helped me slide Nu into the passenger seat and belt her in.

He waved as I drove away.

I got onto the main road along Brighton's seafront and headed for the hospital. I tried to rouse Nufonia, but she remained passed out.

Instead I put on a tape and cranked it to full blast hoping that it would wake her up. It was one of Nufonia’s tapes; a band called Audioweb, covering some Clash song. It was unlike most of the music she was into the singer was a soulful and the music was mainly melodic. Under different circumstances I would have really liked it.

With the music blaring and Nufonia not reacting I switched my attention back to the road at the right time too as I had swerve to avoid a car that had piled into a lamp post, its two occupants were almost as surprised as me when I squealed by.

The next couple of accidents were minor fender-benders. The confused motorists exchanging insurance details and looking around to see what had happened. Then a little further down a lorry had over turned and exploded, the remnants still burning, two other cars that had collided with it barely distinguishable.

I was forced to follow another car up onto the pavement to get past.

Nufonia came to, briefly, as we reached the roundabout outside the Palace Pier. She said something that I couldn’t make out because of the volume and then slipped back into her catatonic state.

As I negotiated the roundabout, I also had to contend with a Double-decker that had driven up onto the curb in front of us I got a glimpse of the driver, he was still slumped over her wheel.

Further up the sea front, after avoiding a few more disasters, I made the mistake of looking down one alleyway. I had been looking for a way to cut into the Kemptown area to get to get closer to the hospital.

I caught a glimpse of what I guessed was a motorist sitting slumped on the edge of the pavement. Her car abandoned next to her, under the car was a body and a shattered pram.

I turned off the marine parade and made it onto the road heading to A&E. It was already packed with cars.

Cursing, I parked my vehicle, got my girlfriend out and half carried, half dragged her the fifteen minutes to the hospital’s driveway.

The area around the Hospital was a throng, people thrusting against each other, I got to be a passing spectator to a punch-up between two men at the steps to the entrance. I didn’t wait to see who won.

Fortunately, the hallways weren’t packed yet, so I was able to get Nufonia to the waiting room. There were no chairs; I propped her up in a corner. I found myself afraid to leave her.

As if to allay my worries, she came to briefly. She gazed up at me, looking confused.

I lent down and kissed her cheek and told her I’d be back soon.

She touched her head and winced, I could see her trying to make sense of what was going on.

“I’ll be back soon.” I assured her again.

I queued at the inundated reception for almost an hour. The faithful clock on the wall keeping track of time for me.

All the time I waited, I eavesdropped on conversations, avoiding getting into any of my own.

An old lady had fallen and broken her hip whilst walking to her living room. A man washing his car had slipped and given himself concussion after he had slipped to the pavement. A window cleaner with a suspected broken leg had had his ladder come out from underneath him. The stories went on.

Finally I got to the receptionist. She was polite, a smile that strained across her face told me she was having trouble; even before she explained that they were busy and would be with me as soon as possible.

I tried telling her that Nufonia was in a bad way. To which she said that she would put Nu as far forward on the ‘to see’ list, but that the doctors were pressed as it was.

I noticed her name tag, it said Tamsin, the corner had snapped off. I wondered if that had happened when she had passed out. I was going to ask when I realised that she had moved on to the next person.

I returned to Nufonia, already the room was starting to fill out; there were people in the corridor. I stepped over more figures to get back to my corner.

As I crouched next to my girlfriend, someone begrudgingly shuffled over to make room. Then I took her head rested it on my shoulder and hugged her, bringing my knees up to my chest.

The stories I heard in the room were different. Especially as the time started to creep by.

“…No, Daddy has gone to a better place, but you have be strong for me.”

“…I hope she’s alright…”

“…God, do you think that Joe will make it?”

The fear and frustration became so palpable that I felt the urge to scream.

At some point later, I’m not sure when, there were no clocks in this room. I decided to turn on the television to shut out the voices floating around the huddled crowd. Carefully moving Nufonia aside I tried to make my way to one of the televisions.

I got as far as the nearest blank screen before I was told by disgruntled man to not turn it on.

">There’ll only be news on.” He said gruffly. “No need to upset things even more.”

I clambered back over the prostrate bodies, some now asleep, and checked on Nufonia.

The bandages were still in place, the padding was crimson, but did not seem damp. I assumed by this that the bleeding had stopped.

I cuddled to her and drifted off.

When I woke up my girlfriend’s cheek was against mine. I immediately noticed that it was cold.

This jerked me awake, my heart started to beat quickly, I reached for her hand. Her head slumped against my chest.

It was cold too, I felt myself starting to shake uncontrollably. I slid my thumb to her wrist like a doctor would do and checked her pulse.

I kept telling myself this wasn’t happening, that this kind of thing only happened to other people. I gripped her wrist harder, willing there to be a throb, anything.

This wasn't happening I kept telling myself, this only happens to other people.

“Nufonia?” I whispered. “Wake up.”

I pushed my other hand under her curtain of hair and found my way to her jawline in the dark. She wasn't that cold, I thought, dead people were supposed to be colder. My fingers found her neck and pushed against it hard. I was hoping she'd shriek awake as I jammed my digits in there. I even imagined it happening, her looking at me hurtfully saying 'What did you do that for?'. I'd have to apologise and laugh and tell her that I, stupidly, thought she was dead.

No pulse.

I pushed harder No reaction. No pulse.

It occurred to me as I clasped her dead hand again, that I was kind of right. These things did happen to other people; and now it had happened to Nufonia.

I hugged her and began to cry a little. Then I picked up the body.

I didn’t look at anyone, but they must have known because they moved out of the way as best they could to let me by.

I could feel an intense anger building inside me as I got to the hallway. I remember wanting to find Tamsin, with her crappy plastic name tag, and show her how serious Nu’s condition had been. I wanted to scream at her that she was responsible for this.

When I finally got out of the room, I gave up on that thought. A clock on the wall said that it was five in the morning.

There were bodies covered in white cloth, lining the walls, stacked as high as possible.

I realised that when a hospital can no longer hide its dead from the public then something is most definitely wrong.

A guy in a white coat came up to me.

"Hi, my name is David.” He introduced himself. “Are you alright?”

I shook my head.

"Can I take her from you?”

I mutely offered Nufonia’s limp form to him.

David took her away, disappearing briefly, when he returned he had a pen and paper.

All that was written on it was a number: 5236.

"This isn’t what we’d normally do, please understand that we feel deeply for your loss, but it has been impossible recently.”

"Yeah I can imagine.” I heard myself say.