Pt. 18 - Neurons Like Brandy - Chapter 7: Present

 Welcome to the new home of Neurons Like Brandy, a novel a recommenced about a year ago as a dedication to the singer from a band I used to listen to called Cay. Her name was Anet Mook. 

Neurons Like Brandy is a zombie book, I know pretty much everyone is sick of zombie stories what with yet another twist on the genre called 'Warm Bodies' coming (it is out already if you are in North America) I would ask you to take the time to read this one. War Z might be more holistic but you write about what you know and this is mine.

For whatever reason this is your first chapter, I would recommend you go to the index and start from the beginning. 

8. Present

Dan, Phillip, and Joshua drove out the morning after Michael's death with his body. There hadn't been much consternation over Michael's dying, he was old and after all that had been seen it wasn't really much of a shock. If anything, it was a shock to see Michael every day, in a place so hostile that someone like that didn't belong there.

They drove west out of Brighton towards the Downs, no one said anything, and there was not much to say. Joshua, initially, made a few comments but getting not much more than monosyllables from Phillip and Dan he couldn't summon the energy to even do that and maintained the same sullen silence.

As usual the weather couldn't decide whether it was going to shit it down with rain or whether it was going push the sun out there and bathe the world in light. So instead, the sun shone weakly through vaguely threatening clouds. It was still enough to bother Dan's eyes that desperately wanted to be closed so as to sleep off his hangover.

He couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol seeping through his cranium that meant that his mind was still fried, or if it had been what happened between him and Michael. When Michael had touched him, he had gotten heady and now there was a residual after effect on his mind and he was having trouble pinning it down. He wasn’t even sure if what had happened with Michael was real or just some effect from the drugs he had been taking, or even just a dream.

They drove for about half a mile and then pulled off into the country side. The car wasn't robust, but no one really cared. Dan could hear the cadaver bouncing around in the trunk behind him as Phillip pushed it up a dirt track into the middle of nowhere. The vehicle struggled on the road that was already being taken over by nature. There were several moments when the car plain came to a stop, the sound of a wheel spinning on nothing before gaining traction again.

About 30 minutes of fighting with the country, the weather decided to take a turn for the worse. The rain started to fall down hard smacking against the windshield.

The rain brought the first active response from Phillip:

“Motherfucker, shitbag, shitters, son of a bitch.” He swore. “What a fucking day to put this crap here. Fuck it; we’ll just walk it from here.”

Phillip parked and they just sat in the car, all of them hoping that the weather was going to abate. The silence remained as the tiny splashes continued to batter the vehicle.

Michael's words were disturbing Dan, he still didn't know how the old man could have known that stuff about Nufonia. It added to his belief that it could not be real.

“Doesn't look like it is going to get any fucking better.” Phillip grumbled, still gripping the steering the wheel.

Dan hoped he'd just start driving again and get them out of there.

Phillip slapped the dashboard, then put his coat on that been hanging off the back of his seat and hastened out into the down pour, swearing as he did so.

Joshua sighed and then did the same. Dan entertained the idea of just letting them do the work but then resigned himself to getting wet.

The pellets came straight down, and hit him on his head and shoulders like thousands of finger pokes. His head was covered by a thick hood he was able to avoid the onslaught directly to the face but he could already feel his hands going numb as they got pelted, the protective metal rings over his fingers going icy cold. His coat with the metal sheath protection and the two hoodies beneath kept out the cold, but Dan knew it was only a matter of time before he was the human equivalent of a damp towel on the floor.

Dan walked around the car as the weather hit him, so as to join the other two by the boot. Phillip was not cloaked and the small pieces of water pounded against his hair clad scalp. In contrast, Joshua was wearing a protective helmet underneath his hood; the errant water bounced off of it making an annoying clattering sound.

Phillip hoisted open the back of the car, reached in and pulled out Michael's covered body by the feet. Joshua reached in afterwards and retrieved the head, Dan then grabbed the shovel.

They walked along the open hillside, with plenty of bare ground in all directions it would be easy to spot any Drifters coming at them. This also meant that the downpour, which had turned into hailstones, could also be totally merciless as it battered the trio. Dan gritted his teeth as the cold started to seep through, neither of his companions were complaining so he kept his mouth shut.

They reached the little graveyard, a grouping of bushes in overgrown grass with same hastily assembled tombstones. Buried there were Sam, George, Danielle (a friend of Jay and Maria’s), and Paul.

Phillip said something that was lost in the clattering of ice.

“Huh?” Dan found himself involuntarily saying.

“Denny should be here as well.” Phillip said a little louder, enough for Joshua and Dan to exchange a look. “I had a spot laid out right there, next to mine.”

Phillip pointed casually at a patch about 5 feet away that was denoted by a rock.

Phillip dropped his burden of the body to the ground, causing Joshua to do the same; he then marched over to Dan and snatched the spade.

Joshua and Dan both stepped back as Phillip literally attacked the soil. The tall boy started hacking at the earth, tearing chunks of it out. The spade was forced into the ground relentlessly.

Dan looked at Phillip's face and swore he could see tears streaming down the digger's face.

The plan had been to take turns digging but after 10 minutes it looked like Phillip had other ideas and still showed no sign of slowing. Dan and Joshua looked at each other and kind of just shrug as the boy continued to hack at the dirt.

            “I am going to go for a walk.” Dan said to Joshua and in turn he got a nod.

He walked away from the graveyard and a small way back towards the car. He looked down the hill and there were two forlorn looking figures struggling through the mud.

He started walking towards them, he wasn't sure why. His head was telling him it was because the trio needed to protect themselves but he wasn't sure that was what drove him towards them at all.

Dan carried on walking towards the two figures; a knife was already in his hand.

It took him 5 minutes to catch up with them, by that time he was almost around the corner out of Joshua's and Phillip's sight.

Dan tapped the first on the shoulder, he wasn't sure why but he wanted to see its face. It turned slowly; the face that greeted him was little more than a mass of rotting flesh and teeth. It made to move towards him but was way too slow. Dan easily killed it by slamming the knife up through the soft membrane underneath its chin and into its skull.

The second straggler heard this encounter and started to turn towards Dan. He didn't hesitate and withdrew the knife from the first and jammed the blade into the side of the second's head, catching it just the side of the eye socket in the soft part above the cheek bone. The second went down instantly, twisting the hilt out of Dan's grip.

Rather dumbly he just stared at the two figures lying there in the mud. If anything, the weather seemed to get worse, the water now starting to seep into his boots and dampen his socks.

Dan mind drifted as he continued to look at the corpses. The thudding in his head seemed to increase and swell. He started thinking about Nufonia, her eyes, her hair, her smile. She used to tease him about how he would watch her brush her hair but it had to do with the way she brushed. It might have seemed dumb but she had always had a majesty to it, he had never known someone who could brush their hair with a sense of dignity and grace, certainly not him with his clumped up dreads that sometimes tried to fuse with his facial hair; when she brushed her hair she looked like she was waiting for something, something great like a heroine would in an old 1950s film drama. 

He wasn't sure how long it had been but he was suddenly dragged back to the present when he heard Joshua shouting.

He stumbled through the dirt up the ridge in the direction of Joshua’s voice.

The grave was ready and Phillip had placed the body in it; water already pooling around the shroud. Phillip got in and placed the head between the legs with a piece of silver on the skull. This was some kind of ritual that Phillip had read about in some book that was supposed to prevent the previously dead from returning to life. He had done the same for each of the people buried in their little cemetery.

After doing that Phillip climbed out as the sides of the hole were already starting to sag. Once out of the pit, Phillip looked around once then said a couple of things, most of them lost in the noise of the weather.

Dan wasn't sure whether he misheard or whether it was what he'd expected to hear, but he could have sworn that Phillip uttered 'I don't want to be like that, ever.'

Then Phillip filled in the grave and they were done.

They clambered back into the car all of them shucking their wet coats and jumpers. Phillip started the car and backed it away.

The drive back was quiet for a while and then Phillip burst out laughing.

“What's so funny?” Joshua asked from the passenger seat.

Phillip stopped laughing but ignored Joshua's question.

Joshua looked back at Dan, neither knowing what to say.

“Dude, are you okay?” Joshua asked, having turned to face his friend again.

This was met with silence again.

“Seriously, if there is something you want to talk about.”

Dan was jarred as Phillip suddenly brought the car to a stop. Phillip just started shouting and punching the steering wheel. Too stunned to really do anything Joshua and Dan just watched him pound the wheel until his hands were bleeding. At this point Joshua reached forward and managed to get him to stop. Dan zoned out for a bit and watched the ice hit the window next to him. He was still trying to figure out what Michael's touch had meant, there was something in that touch that made him think that somehow he'd killed kindly, little bird-lover. Like in the way that faith healers take and transfer energy from an ailment to cure it. That Michael had transferred energy into Dan and as a result killed himself. As this thought occurred, it also struck Dan that he really needed to stop taking drugs.

The car started again with a jolt and that shook Dan out of his reverie. Phillip was talking:

“I've never done anything with my life. Never really wanted to, I was always happy to sit back and give people shit and have a beer in one hand and laugh my arse off. I've always felt pretty aimless and I never used to mind. Things are different now; sure I'm still sitting here having a beer and laughing my arse off that I'm not like them-

This was punctuated by Phillip hitting a zombie with the front of the car, sending it over the bonnet and car into the road behind them. Phillip continued:

“It's just that now the stakes are different and sometimes, just sometimes, it scares me.”

Dan still had the metal ring gauntlets on, looking at Phillip from his vantage in the back seat; Dan felt the urge to punch the back of Phillip's head. Instead:

“So we are all important then?”

Dan watched the boy’s head nod:

“Of course, this isn't a game man.” Dan could hear sincerity in Phillip’s voice.

“What about Grey?” Dan asked.

“What about Grey?” Phillip replied, his tone switching to irritation.

“You never liked him.” Dan stated.

“Neither did anyone else,” Phillip pointed out. “Makes me wish I'd left that fucker on the street and not wasted our time.”

“So you don't know what happened then?”

Phillip turned to look at Dan just for a few seconds, another Undead hit the bonnet.

“No, why would I?” Phillip asked accusingly, snapping back to look at the road.

Dan just shrugged and looked at the back of Phillip's head defiantly.

Phillip kept on driving. Joshua then started up:

“Who was Grey?”

Before Dan could say anything, Phillip interjected.

“This cunt we saved and then he was a complete dick for about a month and then disappeared. We try and not talk about him, because the guy was nothing but trouble.”

“He had a family Phillip.” Dan injected. “He was worried about them. I'm sure you didn't bother to find that out”

Phillip hesitated.

“So what?” He then replied. “So fucking what? Do you think that he was the only one who had family out there, out here? The guy was a dick, kept upsetting people. I'm glad he's gone.”

“Right.” Dan said sarcastically.

The car was almost home and the conversation was pointless.

Dan still remembered the day that Grey had pleaded with them to let him have a car, then after Phillip had told him 'no', Grey had come to Dan and asked him to try and sway Phillip otherwise. Dan had been too wrapped up in his own stuff to be able to help him, even when Grey had shown him the picture of his wife and kids.

“What the fuck man?” Phillip snapped. “What the fuck is this all about?”

Dan thought back to Grey, and he started to feel guilty, he could have helped that man instead he was dead somewhere.

“I don't know.” Dan said wearily. “I really don’t.”

“Well fuck you.” Phillip muttered. “Fuck you and try and figure out what is you fucking mean.”

They went quiet, Phillip kept on driving.

They pulled in at a safe enough point from the house and after putting their damp clothes back on, they rushed through the neighbouring building, across the ladder and back onto home ground.

Dan went straight to his room and stripped off all of his wet garments. He stuck his portable CD player on; the song he wanted to hear started playing and it reminded him of Nufonia, he almost sat on the sofa and then decided against it. Instead, he sat on the bed and exhaled; another member gone, how many more to go?

His dreads were dripping cold trails down his back and he shivered. He decided to lie face down and breathed in the comforting staleness of his old pillow. He could feel the droplets of water slide off his hair, down his face and into the fabric against him. The song kept playing, the lyrics ‘never hurt nobody’ carried on as he tried to sleep away the rest of the day. Except he couldn’t, the song just made his mind start playing over those final moments with Michael.

His bedroom door opened.

Dan turned over to see Jo standing in the doorway to his room.

“Have fun the other night?” She asked casually, in a way that was anything but casual.

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, sitting up.

The music was still playing the song but it seemed quieter somehow.

“Oh, you know the usual.” She said tersely. “I came to apologise about that day at the party and you weren't in bed.”

What she was implying started to sink in.

“But someone was in your bed.” Jo continued a little bitterly. “Didn't take you long, did it?”

Dan remained silent.

“I don't mind that you are fucking her. I just wish you could be honest about it.”

“I'm not, you know,” Dan shrugged trying not to say the word, Jo gave him no help. “Having intercourse with her.”

“Of course not,” Then was an edge of irony in her voice, “that is why she was in your bed.”

“I don't know why she was in my bed.” Dan said. “I got drunk and the next day there she was. If it helps I think she was having sex with Isaac and Craig on my sofa and then fell asleep in my bed.”

“Of course she was.”

“Look I don't know what happened but I was fully clothed when I woke up. Nothing happened between us.” Dan said as calmly as he could.

Jo took a couple of steps into the room, holding his gaze.

“Nothing happened?”

“I hope not.”

“Do you like her?”

“Please.”

“What about me?”

“What?”

“What about me? Do you still like me?”

“Of course I like you.” Dan felt himself almost choking up. “You are my best friend.”

“So why did you-

That was the breaking point, this wasn't a zombie, this wasn't life or death but it was enough to make this thing inside Dan's head explode. He saw Nufonia, dying in his car; he saw Sam fading away as the mysterious illness took her. He saw Denny's face as he walked out of the corner shop, that look of unbridled terror. It was as if Denny was willing for the blood pouring through his fingers and out of the rip in his jacket to not be there. That somehow he wanted it to go back 15 minutes that he never walked into the shop in the first place, that everything would be okay. He saw George being pulled into a house by four walkers, it was already too late for him but they had gone in and killed the zombies anyway and pulled what was left of George out of there. Half his face was torn off but there was an unmistakable look, the one he always had on his face: ‘fuck me’.

Dan felt all of that just brimming over him like white noise in his skull.

“What the fuck?” He yelled back at her. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

She stared at him, a little startled.

“Is there anyone you aren't fucking in this house?” He continued. “I'll bet you'd have your fingers in both Phillip and Jay's pie if they were fucking interested.”

Jo opened her mouth, but Dan relented:

“Fuck off, just fuck off. The only reason you are here is because you are fucking jealous because people are looking at her and not at you.”

“And so what if I am?” She snapped.

“So, why the fuck are you here questioning me about this shit?”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“I already told you that I didn't.” He barked back. “But what if I did?”

Jo didn't say anything; instead she started to walk out.

“Jo, why would you care what I did?” Dan could feel tears building up behind his eyeballs, begging to be let out. “Why would you care?”

“Of course I care about you.” Jo turned back to look at him, her face broke. Her lower lip rose and overlapped her upper lip. Her chin started to shake.

That was all that Dan saw before Jo turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Dan sat there for a little while then lay back down. He turned his head to look out the window of his room. The rain was coming down heavy still. Soon after he started to feel drowsy and before he knew it he was asleep.